Jobs to Nightmares

Our next theme in Open Court Reading is called "Dreams to Jobs." To get them thinking about the idea of occupations, I asked them the normal question in reverse: "What would you NOT like to do when you grow up?" There were lots of trash collector essays, of course, but a several stood out for the detail or the unusual choices. Here are a few:

Construction Worker

I would hate to be a construction worker. I would freak out if I had to balance on a beam ten thousand feet high. I would have to eat my lunch ten thousand feet above the ground. If you trip, you fall all the way down to the ground. I think the elevator cables are going to break on normal elevators. But the construction elevators look even scarier. They don't have any walls! You could fall out of the elevator at ten thousand feet above the ground and die. That's why I don't want to be a construction worker.

Surfer

I would hate to be a professional surfer. Why? Because I can't surf! Riding waves? Ain't happening! Even if I learned, I only enjoy running and swimming sports. Them: "Hanging 10!" Me: Hanging on for my life!!! They say, "Duuuude." I scream instead. I have little balance and sight control. And I'd rather not be over 250,000 dollars per year earner. I'll write draw, or program, but sports are out of the question. S-U-R-F-I-N-G. Surfing is not for me!

Kindergarten Teacher

If I were an adult, I would hate being a kindergarten teacher. They always have to be all nice and soft when the kids get in trouble. The kids always cry and scream. When there is a fat, ugly, dumb kid, you have to hug them and say, "You'll get some friends." They always fall on their knees, bleed, and pull out their teeth. I don't like it when you have to teach them the alphabet and keep saying over and over and over again, "A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O, P, Q, R, S, T, U, V, W, X, Y and Z." It's so darn boring! They can't pronounce words an then they hit each other. The girls are always saying, "Where are the Barbies?" They act all sassy and try to have their own posse. The boys always play with dinosaurs and those Pokemon cards. They pretend they have guns and then they making those shooting noises and spit in your face. I don't like to tie their shoes because sometimes they are all muddy and gross. I wouldn't want to be a kindergarten teacher. The kids always break the crayons and markers and then start crying. When they draw a picture you have to lie to them and say it's pretty. They also make up jokes and they are really not funny, but you have to laugh anyway.


Finally, one that really spoke to me,

Lawyer

My hatest job is being a lawyer. I hate it because you have to go to law school and go on others' sides when they are saying that they are good or it's wrong. But at court if you lie you go to jail. I would rather be a normal person. I hope you agree with me that being a lawyer stinks!

Homework: Light tonight. (1) "Relate Multiplication and Division," Math, pages 140-141, and (2) "Facts Through Five," pages 142-142 in the same book.